room sharing : a good delimma

Our first born child (a boy) was the motivation why we bought the apartment of two bedrooms since November 2002. After 2 years and 4 months to be exact, I gave birth to our second child (a girl) and we are still living in that same apartment of 65 sq. meters. It is located in the city but off from busy streets. My husband wanted us to move to a bigger place after having a baby girl. He was thinking there wouldn’t be enough space for them. Told him why not share a room besides they are still young? I said to him kids of not the same sex in the same room is not bad at all. Siblings are suppose to share whatever things they have and sharing a room is one of them. It promotes a closer sibling rapport. They would learn, develop and adapt themselves in different situations along the way. I was joking about it too, that he married a Filipina and so we should live like an authentic Filipino family. I do not see anything wrong with it. I grew up with my brother and sister in the same room and it was a no big deal. We liked it all together even if we fought over something. It was a joke but it is true! Sharing spaces is part of a Filipino way of family life. Of course, there’s always an exception if you belong to a rich family then you’ll have your own private room. Apparently, he agreed with my point of view and we didn’t move since then.

April 2010, I gave birth to our third child ( just for the record it’s an unexpected or should I say "SURPRISED" pregnancy). And we are still living in that same 65 sq. meters flat with our three kids sharing one room and we are all happy. We choose to wait a little bit to move to a bigger place as we don’t want to be in a haste. We both don't like rushing to get things done! Most especially we do not want to buy a house because of pressure that we get mostly from our entourage.

Certainly, I admit that family is growing therefore we absolutely need a bigger space as the flat starts to be small for a brood of five. I admit, sometimes staying at home all day in that small flat is a bit tedious. But we are getting used to it, it’s just a matter of finding interesting stuffs to do to forget about the space problem. Good thing, we love outdoor activities and so during weekends we are mostly out and enjoying.. Active children need activities throughout their free time. During bad weather we still manage to do other indoor activities like playing chess, drawing, assembling puzzle and sometimes playing Nintendo DS (but this has a limit). We also have a big garage in the basement’s residence and they get to rollerblade and bike there. We also found a new sports that kids love so much and during bad weather you will find them there. Of course, they also watch television, some cartoons and interesting documentary about dinosaurs, natures and animals and all about earth. They love that kind of program.

On the other hand, we are perfectly aware of the upside and downside of room sharing. My son who is an 8 years old urgently needs his own space to do his homework. Otherwise,he couldn’t concentrate because my daughters could be noisy sometimes while playing. Above all, he is growing and the only boy, thus, privacy matters could make sharing principally complicated. Honestly, I am proud to say they never really squabble because they share a room but it’s more of fighting over a toy or asking who will arrange the mess. Obviously, they both do the tiding up….no choice they only have one room. That’s one advantage of room sharing! We discussed all about these pros and cons, and it motivated us much more to buy a house with a bigger space for our children to value privacy and solitude. Besides, they already know the importance of cooperation and sharing, to negotiate and compromise.

For eight years, we are fortunate to have lived in this flat as it is near a public park and not buildings & commercial zone. Grateful that we are not confronted of dirty streets, noisy stores and not having to struggle to find a parking space. Plus, we have a superb terrace just enough to stay and enjoy a fine day and gaze upon the verdant green cliffs, trees and plants right on our nose. Nice neighbours, there may be one or two bad apples but not everyone. I will surely miss this flat !

the view from our flat