Une phase ou une excuse ?

L’autre fois mon mari a eu une conversation très intéressants sur un sujet a propos des ados. Donc, je sais que c’est un peu tôt de parler de la vie des adolescents car nos enfants sont encore petits. Mais quand je vois où nous vivons ça serra pénible comment vaincre l’appréhension, stress et une certaine peur quand cette période de transitions arrive. Nous connaîtrons plus certainement des moments difficiles comme tous les parents. En parlant de ça nous serons sans doute voudrions avoir les moyens plus sûr et d’être rationnel pour s’améliorer les relations avec nos enfants.L'adolescence est une phase de conversion, de transformation corporel et intellectuelle parmi la vie des jeunes enfants pour s'apprête à mener une vie d'adulte. Quelquefois, cette intervalle se passe avec des cas de mésintelligence avec le milieu ou des moments de rébellion de l'enfant, qui ont la difficulté d’accepter les changements ou qui peuvent contrarier leurs envies. Généralement, on identifié cela la "crise de l'adolescence" !

Je ne suis pas d’accord si la crise s’accompagne chez des ados de l’ignorer ses parents, d’être agressive vers son entourage, qui ne respecte pas certaines règles, comportement de défi, l’objection aux parents….bref dépasser les bornes sans cesse dans tous les sens ! Je suis passée par l’adolescence et j’ai aussi tout essayé à boire de l'alcool et à fumer (sauf la drogue) comme approximativement tous les ados, mais heureusement je n’ai pas vraiment accrochée. La seule explication j’étais motivée de tenter à fumer c’est par la curiosité. Savoir pourquoi ça fonctionne à merveille chez les jeunes. Je n’ai pas encore trouvé la réponse qui me convient. Quel est l’intérêt de fumer? Personnellement je ne vois que du négatif :
1. C'est cher
2. Nous mourons plus jeune
3. Nous mettons en danger les personnes que nous entourent a cause du tabagisme passif
4. On est souvent malade
5. Fumer ça pollue la terre


Parlons l’alcool, j’ai pas mal sortie dans ma vie de l’adolescent mais j’étais la seule personne qui ne bois pas. Je déteste la bières, déjà l’odeur me dégoûte. Les autres boivent mais avec modération ou plutôt des cocktails. J’ai appris à boire du vin avec le temps pour les grandes occasions ou quand nous avons des invités ou que nous sommes invités seulement en France. Et puis quand on boivent du vin c’est bien pour la santé avec modération bien sûr ! Je ne parle pas de la drogue car vous connaissez déjà les réponses. Malheureusement, ceux qui disent "Il faut que je fasse le même comme mes copains sinon je ne serai pas vraiment à la hauteur". Franchement, j’ai constaté que les ados sont cruels et superficiel. Ils ont incapable d'être soi même. Lorsque on est dissemblable on est seul et exclu. C'est la sombre réalité ! Quoique, certains vont connaître une adolescence fracassant et d’autres vont apparaître inaperçus.


La question se pose est-ce que la crise d’adolescence est-elle un passage exigé ? Ou c’est juste une excuse pour tous ceux qui veulent faire comme disent les ado pour être à la hauteur ? Est-ce que les critères retenus doivent être acceptés par l’ensemble pour être bien accueillir dans un groupement ?

Je ne jugerais personne dans cette histoire mais j’essaye de comprends. Comme le dit en Anglais ‘Been there, done that’. En fait, je n'ai pas eu cette impression d'avoir peut être un adolescent très extraordinaire !

As always the translation is here. Sorry there are some wrong words translated but it'll help you understand the post, thank you !

Comments

Chibog in Chief said…
He hehehe, pag kinuwento ko ang aking teenage crisis and peer pressure kulang ang space :-) Anyways, as we say that its only a phase of life, it will pass by. Lahat yata ng "walanghiya" at walang modong" teenager na kilala ko they grew up after as fine young men and ladies. But smoking is another story :-)
Angelo said…
salut Haze! Bonne chance avec les crises de l'adolescence au futur. pour moi, heureusement, je n'ai pas ce souci pour maintenant. mais le fait que Tu Anh a un adolescent etait une source pour la mal au tete dans notre relationship. Sorry my french is so rustee :)
Anonymous said…
I actually think my parents were pretty lucky because I didn't have that rebellion phase. Yes, I tried smoking for two weeks just to see what it's about but in the end it only got me dizzy! As for alcohol, I had a bad experience in college where I got sick so I learned my lesson there. Now, I'll drink but very moderately.
CLC Fashion said…
ton article est très interressant haze! La crise d'adolescence est un passage obligé et a mon avis, le comportement d'un ados va dépendre de son éducation et de son entourage.
Les adolescents veulent toujours faire ce qui est interdit comme faire fumer, boire de l'alcool etc mais c’est souvent à cause des nombreuses influences des ami/s, cousins etc. Ils font des erreurs plus ou moins grave mais c'est ce qui va le faire grandir.
Makis said…
Ah, adolescence! The period where you don't want to be treated as a child but is still not ready to be an adult. Drinking & smoking are a part of this phase for some. Drugs is a different story. A lot of people from my batch drink & smoke & they turned out OK. Some even a whole lot better than OK. And they still drink & smoke! Some people turned out really bad because of drugs. Don't we all just wish to be always with our children. But this is part of their awareness. It's part of their growth, to experience life. And we're here as parents to remind them of the right limits & gently shove them to the right path. It's here that they build their own beliefs & convictions. Parenthood is hard & we also know that adolescence was also tough when we were there!
Analyse said…
i agree with lucille. i think that an adolescent's way of facing this period depends on his basic education and values, that is to say, what he learnt at home. but it's true that the environment here in france frightens me, pushes me all the more to be closer to my kids and inculcate in them a certain value which i hope will be their guiding light when they finally enter this vague phase of adolescence. goodluck to us ;)
Toe said…
Sana we can skip this awkward strange age of teen years! :) Naku... yung mga pamangkin kong teen-agers... ewan ko talaga sa kanila. :)
Wil said…
I was too much of a nerd during my teen years to smoke or drink. hehe. I guess some teens smoke and drink b/c they find that it relaxes them or reduces stress. Even teens get stressed, I think. ;-) Perhaps they have no other outlet to reduce stress.
Sidney said…
You just have to learn your kids to differentiate good from wrong and that from early age on. You need to be close to them...be open and able to listen to them...
And most important lead by example...
you can't have moral authority over your children if you drink, smoke, go out, etc. yourself.
haze said…
Ganun DHANGGIT parang hanggang ngayon may crisis ka ng adolescence lol ! Kidding aside, I just hope that this is only a temporary phase of life and I am sure you're friends learned their lesson well. I guess, smoking really start from the adolescent period because of curiosity.

Merci ANGELO ! Je commence déja à penser avant cette périod. Je crois toutefois que le dialogue peut améliorer bien des choses.

Same as well JOANNE! I was always maldita in my younger years. But as soon as I step the adolescent stage I didn't have the rebellion stage as well though I had my childish stage for a loooong tiiimme .
haze said…
On n'en parle souvent à la maison LUCILLE car c'est une phase vraiment curieux. Je connais pas mal des ados qui sont bien eduquer par leurs parents. Mais le problème c'est des fréquentation de l'école, ils ne sont pas à l'abri. Nous pouvons pas toujours à leur côté mais je pense que effectivement, c'est la seule façon malheureusement de choisir/savoir entre le bien et le mal.

I think when we experienced the good and the ugly side of adolescence we make assessments after all MAKIS. As we grow up we ended up agreeing between us about our basic values and rules which our parents taught us eversince. Adolescents maybe tough but we parents never missed out on giving valuable education, never miss an opportunity to nurture since. I just really hope this phase will not become an excuse just to tolerate phases of adolescence in a way to accommodate kids.

That is the problem ANALYSE outside of our home. Despite of everything, but I think we just need to have confidence in them. And let them join sports and other social activities that also permits them to grow in a sane environment. Yes, good luck to us !
pining said…
in 6 years time, I will have a whiny teenager, sure of it, because he's only 7 and he whines like anything...
I think if kids were given a good foundation in childhood, they will carry it throughout; it's the peer pressure I'm really concerned about.
If only we can choose their friends for them...
haze said…
Oo ano TOE pero minsan depende rin talaga sa character ng bata. Some are adventurous, others are risk taker, few are plain teen-agers :D.

Wow nerdie type pala WIL while I concentrated more on sports and religious stuffs ;)! Yes, it relaxes but later it doesn't give a person good results, unfortunately.

That's what we are trying to do SIDNEY but the problem is the society, the environment. I am just really glad that my husband and I are not smoking and we only drink during occasions and invitations ;) ! We are tying them to introduce sport and other activities more I do believe that it is very important to help them in the future in many ways. It will surely keep them off the streets when they get older meaning no to drug use and bad habits.

Yay, it's like my daughter PINING my son is cool. I agree a paradigm of good parental education will show them the way. It's my fear too :( . Anyway, I am sure we are not alone on this subject, we can help each other !
Francesca said…
one cousin of marghie once told her that me as their mom, is cool.
Hindi daw ako strict.Sagot ni marghie, ahehehehe, kung alam mo lang.

I beleive in disciplining kids starting from infancy. LUPIT ano?

Kasi ganito yun, if i dont insist on discipline? RULES to my children, life outside home will be brutal to them.
raqgold said…
i believe if you trust your kids and you talk and listen to each other... it would be okay. pero sempre, dapat vigilant din tayo :D
haze said…
That's what is all about the role of being a parent FRANCESCA! We are there to mold them and get ready out there! To lead a better life, overcome challenges and gain independence.

That's what I thought, trust them RAQGOLD they have a mind an aid to examine their conscience! They are quite intelligent to know between what is right and what is wrong. Let us just stay vigilant, korek ;) !
Raquel said…
Ito ang kinatatakutan ko kung mangyari ito sa mga anak ko. i read raqgold's commment, i totally agree with her. TRUST is the key and avoid doubts [pagdududa] too.

Nice topic haze.
haze said…
Nakakatakot talaga RAQUEL but I guess life is a cycle. People grow and change. The best way to do is grow with them. Tread them to the right path that will lead them to a better person. Thanks and have fun back home Raquel ;) !