Plain housewife ?

I know that I've been absent for a long time but I have a valid reason to be. Sorry for not updating. I've been into one of my difficult moments these past weeks. I was thinking why do things go wrong when everything's almost perfect ? We're almost done with our kitchen renovation suddenly my son got sick. At first, I thought it was just a simple cough and colds. I gave him necessary medications but it wasn't enough when he complained that his stomach was painful. I again presumed that it was just his muscle aching. Call it a mother's instinct, I hurriedly then called the pediatrician with no hesitation. Told her about my son and he's hurt somewhere in the stomach when he coughs. The doctor was good enough to accept us on that same day at 6PM. I went to her clinic then she asked me to do an x-ray right away to make sure of her diagnosis of pneumonia. The X-ray result came and my son suffers from pulmonary infection or commonly known as pneumonia (doctor was right). The X-ray doctor told us that he needs to have a strong medication to fight against it. Then we went back to the clinic to see the doctor with the X-ray results. She gave my son lots of medicine to take. He stayed at home for 1 week and no schooling for another one week until he gets completely healed. We both had sleepless nights. I needed to sleep beside him because he had crisis in the middle of the night. His right pulmon was aching and I cannot do anything about it. All I can do was to put my hand on his right pulmon and massage it. Held him in my arms to assure that everything will going to be alright. If only I have a magic wand to take away the pain, I would have done it. He couldn't sleep and no appetite at all for a week. Imagine the fear I had. I don't mind being tired but I just wanted to make him feel better and was hoping that Mayumi will not be infected too. Good thing, my daughter stays well and healthy. After that episode I was released, my son is finally one hundred percent okay. At any point and all along I have the fear of plunging in into another event again. It serves me right, he went back to school Monday and Tuesday, that Tuesday afternoon he unfortunately catched Conjunctivitis and was constipated...my poor little boy he's not yet finished with these series of sickness ! So he stayed again for another week. Finally, he's better now...much better ! That's just about the life's slopes. What is important is how we would be able to face and overcome them without "panicking"...easy to tell when we all don't sail on the same boat, right ? After those horrible weeks, I am back in circulation....I also would like to take this chance to thank PMN for inviting me to join the group. I will soon post for parenting please bear with me I am working on it.

Anyway, I don't normally post a forwarded email ( I did once because it was worth to share) now this caught my attention. I would really wanted to share this to all mothers and mothers to be. This could also be applied to men....I guess, for single fathers :D ! After what we have been through mothers, we should be proud to be called a plain housewife !

A COMMITMENT By Tingting Cojuangco
Sunday, December 02 2007 (www.philstar.com)

I get mixed feelings of anger, exasperation and comic relief whenever I ask a woman, “Do you work?” and she answers, “I am only a housewife.” Only? There are not enough hours in a day for any housewife!

Watching game shows, I notice the host’s standard line for personal interviews includes “What does your mother do?” And the instant reply that follows has become an equally standard line… “She is a plain housewife.” Now, that daughter’s response just irks me. Poor mom. And until this writing, it never dawned on me that being a housewife was simple, basic… and plain. So…

What does a housewife do? She wakes up earlier than her husband and children to fix the day’s lunch boxes. She toasts the bread in a microwave she (possibly) bought from her own salary. She may be in curlers just like in the American TV comedies. I hope not, because I think it’s terrible to see a woman in curlers sitting before her husband (unless you’re Lucille Ball) when, during courtship, she was blow-drying her hair every other day!

A housewife has to be like an octopus. While toasting the bread she’s getting the rice boiled and a can of pork and beans and a meat dish from last night’s dinner into Tupperware for her children’s lunch. She runs to the stove to check the bacon she is frying to make a sandwich. Sometimes she lays on a coat of butter and sugar — for energy — and she’ll consume her children’s leftovers!

Forward thinker, nights before school days, Mommy lays out her children’s uniform on a chair with shoes and socks ready to just slip on because it’s difficult to wake her little girls and boys who dress half-asleep. Clothes on standby make her job easier. I did that! For the sake of love and dressing up my girls to look coordinated.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The children come down the stairs holding the banister. One is crying because he can’t find his toothbrush; the other missing his notebook after doing last night’s assignment and where do you think it might be? “What did we do last night?” Even her memory has to be awake at 6 a.m.

Disastrous! She runs up to look for that math notebook and the bacon gets burned. The children organized at the breakfast nook say they want crackers, too. She tells her children, “Put coco jam on the crackers. Okay, eat your cornflakes now… Drink your milk… Take your vitamins… There’s the school bus… Hurry!! Give mom a kiss… Remember me?”

Whew! Lock the door… Thank God that’s over… Up to the bedroom, and your husband’s staring. “Darling…?” Guess what? He wants to make love. And you feel like it’s lunch time already after hard labor at the kitchen when it’s just 6:30 a.m. If you don’t give in he’ll look for it outside. Didn’t Fr. Padre say that? I hope I don’t smell like bacon and Spam…

“Oh gosh, it’s late — 7:15!!” You take a shower… brush your teeth to discover the toothpaste cap is missing and look for it under the sink… one minute… two minutes… three minutes… and you have to put on your makeup. The mascara’s too thick. You forgot your sunscreen. Your hair’s soaking wet. A horn toots while you’re getting dressed. It’s your husband rushing to drop you off at work.

* * * * * * * * * * *

At work you punch in at 8:30 a.m. late again… Well, there’s overtime and you’ll make up anyway for your lost salary after 5 p.m. At 6 p.m. you go to the supermarket to buy fruits and milk… Good thing you went to the market Saturday; that should take care of the whole week’s fresh and refrigerated food for dinners. Did I give the maid the week’s menu? Yes, I did… But what happened to Yaya Melissa? She didn’t came home from the province last night…

Yaya Melissa had to help her Nanay in the field, Tatay was running a temperature so Koyang harvested the palay and laid them out on the road to dry. She and her mother put the dried palay inside sacks the whole day… Nanay’s been awake since 4 a.m. and it’s now 2 p.m. She must rest a bit from the day’s heat, while Melissa watches over her younger sister. It’s time for Nanay to buy the medicine in town for Tatay; buy a plastic drum in the market for accumulating the water from the shallow well for washing the dishes, for cooking and for bathing.

She passes by the market to check palay prices and buy tuyo, kamatis, ampalaya and carne… Takes a pedicab home by 5 p.m — early enough to burn the wood that’s a little wet from the rains so it takes her five tries. Nevertheless she must cook dinner. There’s a knock at the door. Oh, those NPA’s again asking for food. It’s the third time this month. I’m tired of cooking for them… and they’re eating up my family’s share. This time I’ll send them away… That takes a lot of courage. But she does send them off. They hardly have enough for five children. Their neighbors have seven and eight because there isn’t a TV set in the barangay. No electricity! And it’s dark by 6:30 p.m. But her neighbor’s advantage is a lot of hands working the field. Thank God for children!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Being a housewife is not as plain or uneventful as it may seem. On the contrary, housewives are superwomen of sorts. They work from dawn to dusk and do a lot of problem solving.

Helping the children with school assignments can be cumbersome; therefore, keeping abreast with the fast-phased high-tech learning styles she must do. I remember every time my mom taught me she’d raise her voice and I’d cry. Since then — Grade 4 — I have had a tutor whom I abused. Studying with a pillow on my desk, I lay my head on it, or played jackstones while studying and eating apples and more apples. I have never shrugged aside the offer of tutorial classes, which explains professors’ or Roland’s visits.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Yes, yes. Multi-tasking is a game that a housewife can very well handle. Like a tiny ant carrying a luminous beetle. Her excellent ability for organization comes handy as she segregates the contents of the laundry bin that needs soaking first and a washing machine at once, if she is lucky enough to own one. In between pants and T-shirts she sweet-talks the Meralco and NAWASA collectors for another monthly payment extension. Not to mention she has also a number of pahulugan to negotiate.

If she can get the kids to take their afternoon nap, she hurries to hang-dry the laundered clothes. Has she estimated the drying and collecting time before the sun sets at six? Of course, by then she has strived to make the living room and bedroom floors sparkle with the best quick-shine floor polish she could purchase from the neighborhood store. One last activity is beautifying herself before her husband comes home from work.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I forgot to add: a housewife acts as referee, too: separating fighting siblings before bedtime. And then she acts as guidance counselor with motherly words of wisdom for her children to live by.

The remaining hours of the night are spent tidying the dining room and the sink before she dives into bed to listen to a husband unburden his woes of the day as she lies awake hoping he’ll give her a most cherished prize for the day’s job well done: a goodnight kiss.

Now, what does your mother do? P L E N T Y !!!

Comments

Francesca said…
Its exactly what I am doing.
My home.
My morning employer.
My afternoon employer.
I asked Michel to spare me blah blah if I am tired.

I work Mon to Sat.
Sunday is OFF, sana, but Home is still work.

Haze, hope your son is well now. He has a supermom, you.
All the best.
Chibog in Chief said…
it could really be pissing off that most of the time the society undermine the term "housewife"...for it is really a full-time job, 24hours a day, seven days a week job without salary at that!! anyways a simple smile and hug from our kids are our best consolation..dont worry everythings gonna be alright...

dont forget to take care of yourself too my dear friend..

big kisses,
hilda
Anonymous said…
Greetings again from California... Glad to hear your son is feeling better. I have a one and a half yr. old son and so far no sickness of any kind. I know it's inevitable down the line, especially once he's in school, but I can't imagine the worry you had to go through. I hope everyone in your family stays well during the winter season (I know it can be very cold there...)

-joanne
Yen Prieto said…
OMG im glad that ur son is perfectly ok now ate. i can imagine ur fear being a mother. and im sure all mothers cant stand to see their kids being ill. u take care always ate. have a "healthy" holidays. ;-)
Chibog in Chief said…
dear i got your message about maki.;im shocked.. and sad..magpapasko pa naman
raqgold said…
hope all is well with you and the whole family. i can relate -- my whole family was down with cough and cold and fever last week, imagine.. we were also in and out of hospitals and doctor's clinic. but we are okay now. this too shall pass, am praying for your family's good health and welcome to PMN! thanks for visiting the home and garden and travel sections!
Ladynred said…
Glad to hear your son is Ok. All mothers want the best for their children and we could take their pain we would!
Toe said…
It must be painful for a mother when her children are suffering. Sebastien is lucky to have such a loving mother. I hope he is feeling better now.
Anonymous said…
Thanks for your comments rearly appreciated ! HAZE

Now your role I guess are far more difficult kasi working Mom ka ! You need to juggle between work and family kudos to you FRANCESCA!

I have always a high regard to plain housewives they have the most difficult and challenging job have ever existed. Hope Mayumi stays well HILDA keep warm !

Thank you very much JOANNE he's better. Although they cannot avoid catching simple cough and colds during the winter...those are very very ordinary. Mothers worry ma lot more co'z we're always beside them. I am thankful that I still don't work because I could oversee things at home and give my 200% attention & time in moments like this! Stay warm there and best regards to your family :D !

Hey YEN thanks he's okay! So I guess, our experiences as a mothers will help you in the future :D. Now you know what to do when you reach this stage. Have a nice vacation in Pinas!

Welcome and thanks for your visit RAGGOLD! Oh sorry to hear that you were in & out of the hospitals, winter really s**ks! We should stay tough and I know that sickness has an end. Anyhow we have good medical assistance here in Europe! Many thanks for your warm welcome and will soon post an article in Parenting ! Take care and hope all is well in your end.

Exactly AGRING all mothers will not hesitate to do that! Even we're sick we're still capable to do things but the children are so young and helpless, sad !

Hi TOE how's your tour with Mom's amigas? He's better and I hope that he stays that way! But the thing is winter is equivalent to sickness talaga !
Analyse said…
im glad ok na si sebastien.. it's really hard when our kids are sick no...

re: housewife. i think that social classification of 'housewife lang' is very pinoy. i don't know if you feel the same way here in france. french husbands normally help out at home, and the society is not really looking down on housewives.. it's a great job and everybody here i think realizes that.. some even work to escape from that domestic job.. what do you think?
haze said…
Hi Geri I am glad to see you here! My son is feeling a lot better thank you ! I can imagine your worries...especially, when they can't still express how they feel that terrify us mothers! The job of a mother is one of the most challenging role, and somewhat sometimes life and death situation! Btw, I hope you don't mind linking you :D !

Basti is okay Ana, thanks! I must agree on this thing..it's a bit Pinoy because there are always Yayas and relatives to help us! Just to be fair, I think it's a personal mentality, co'z I have friends & some relatives who aren't working but they take pride of being a plain housewife at the same time the couple share the tasks !

On the other hand, I totally agree Europeans look up on housewives with full admiration! HAHAHA I thought I was the only one to see that they prefer to work instead of staying at home...and yes would rather face tons of job problems than overseeing things at home ! Anwyway, they always depend on the medical assistance, créche, government social assistance etc.etc for that ! They are brats !
rmacapobre said…
my mother is a housewife and i cant help but feel that she was cheated out of her own dreams because she took care of us. now that we have all grown up i hope she now chooses to at least enjoy her life as she sees fit. she deserves it .. i hope all housewives will be appreciated .. they give up so much of their own lives and for what .. i hope that the state begins to put housewives in a the priority list for equality. this is done by having the husband be obliged to pay for the wages for the work at home.
haze said…
My mom has been a housewife too for a long time but when we grew up she decided to work a little bit to help the family financially. But before she started working she makes sure that we learned a lot of what she told us to do at home to be independent in some way. I agree with you, we are their lives and I think they need to really breath out and get a life too! Try to enjoy more doesn't mean to be a less mother to us ! Well said RMACAPOBRE !