ce n'est pas juste

Ma colère, mes angoisses, ma tristesse sont passées, et aujhourd'hui j'aimerais partager mes sentiments avec vous. Il y a deux semaines je suis allée chercher Sébastien à l'école comme l'habitude. Soudainement, j'ai vu qu'il avait des éraflures sous le nez. Je n'ai pas osé demander à sa maîtresse. Je me suis dit qu'il était peut être simplement un peu irrité parce que il était enrhumé. Cependant la maîtresse m'a vu examiner mon fils. Je n'ai pas osé demander d'explications. Elle m'approché en disant " Vous savez Madame, pendant le cours il s'est fait frappé par une éléve. Nous lui avons demandé qui l'avait frappé, mais il n'a pas répondu. Il a continué de pleurer. Il est difficile de le comprendre car il ne s'exprime pas beaucoup. Nous avons tout essayé mais nous n'avons pas reussi." A ce moment la, mon visage a changé.....j'étais désespérée....je lui ai montré mon mécontentement.

Ensuite, elle m'a dit " Ne vous inquiétez pas Madame ça ne viens pas de lui je vous assure. Sébastien n'a aucune agressivité, aucune méchanceté. C'est un garçon très doux et quand il voit quelque chose qui traîne par terre il le ramasse et il range...il n'y a que lui qui le fait! . Il y avait une auxiliaire presente elle aussi et a confirmé ce que la maîtresse disait a propos du comportement de mon fils. j'ai repondu en precisant : " Je sais très bien que mon fils n'est pas aggresif, et je ne voudrais pas non plus qu'il finisse comme un punching bag pour les autres éléves. Sébastien doit effectivement, apprendre à se defendre. La maîtresse a encore ajouté une petite remarque en me regardant avec un gentil sourire : "a côte de ça il est gentil et c'est une bonne chose".

Je n'avais pas besoin de toutes ces précisions....En revenant à la masion, je n'arrêtais pas de penser comment les éléves pouvaient faire ça à Sébastien qui pourtant n'a rien fait....du tout ! je voulais vous dire que mon fils est trop gentil envers ses camarades. Je ne parle pas uniquement du caractere de mon fils à l'école, mais également des éléves qui peuvent lui faire du mal.

Ce soir là, j'ai tout raconté a mon mari qui a decidé de faire une lettre pour que cela ne se reproduise plus. Il a demandé aux éducatrice de contrôler pour savoir si c'était un cas isolé ou repetitif. Nous avions peur qu'un ou plusieurs éléves puissent le harceler. Si c'était le cas nous voulions résoudre la situation avec les parents des élèves concernés. Je pense que c'était la meilleure solution !

Et vous ? Que pensez vous de tout ça ? Imaginez vous à notre place, comment réagiriez vous à cette histoire


English Translation :

My anger, my anguish, my sadness have passed, and today I would like to share my feelings with you. Two weeks ago, I went to pick up Sebastien from the school. Suddenly, I saw that he had scratches under the nose. I did not dare to ask his teacher. I said to myself that he was just simply irritated because of colds. However the teacher saw me examining my son. I did not dare to ask for explanations. She approahed me saying "You know Ma'am, while playing outside he was hit by a classmate. We asked him who it was, but he did not answer. He continued to cry. It was difficult to understand him because he cannot expressed much. We have tried many times but we did not succeed." At that time, my face changed....I was desperate... I showed them my dissatisfaction.

Then, she said to me "do not worry Ma'am he did not started it I assure you. Sebastien doesn't have aggressiveness, no naughtiness. He is a very gentle boy and when he sees something which trails in the floor he collects
and arranges them... it is only him who does! . There was also an assistant present and she confirmed what the teacher said to me about the behavior of my son. I answered precisely: "I know very well that my son is not aggresive, but I would not like either that he finishes like a punching bag for the others students. Sebastien should effectively learns to defend. The teacher added a small remark by looking at me with a nice smile: "besides he is a very nice boy and it is a good thing".

I don't need all these precisions ... While going back home, I did not stop thinking how the students could do that to Sebastien who however did not do anything... at all ! I mean to say that my son is too nice towards his camarades. I do not speak solely about the character of my son at the school, but also about the students who can do bad things against him.

This evening, I told everything to my husband who decided to make a letter so that that it will not happen again anymore. He asked the teacher to control if it were an isolated case or it happens often . We were afraid that one or more students can harass him. If it were the case we would like to solve the situation with the parents of the pupils concerned. I think that it was the best solution!

And you? What do you think of all these? Imagine if you are in our place, how would you react on this matter?

Comments

Anonymous said…
sis, i can VERY MUCH relate.
It happened when my eldest Patrick was still in Pinas. Mom would phone me in the middle of the night only to report na may kagat daw sa pisngi ang anak ko at may tusok ng pencil sa pisngi (almost to hit the eye!). Naloka ang lola mo siyet! Nagwala ako shempre, nasinghalan ko tuloy nanay ko. Sabi naman ni madir yung pagwawala ko raw sa phone eh doble ng pag-aalsamasa nya sa principal's office, pinagsisigawan nya ang mga teachers doon. You see, yung kagat sa pisngi.. ok once is enough, pero ang tusukin ulit malapit sa mata (ano ba yon?) bulag ba ang mga teachers na ito para hindi makita ang ganong situation? Pinatawag ang parents nung bata, lalong nagwala ang nanay ko sa face-to-face encounter (labas daw ang wala dito wala doon na ingles nya.. hehe!)Haay sis.. super nanggalaiti rin talaga ko. Kung nandon lang ako eh malamang gyera patani, maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan. I mean.. honestly? Anak mo, inalagaan mo, inaruga, minahal.. tapos gaganunin lang sa school? and these teachers were being paid not only to teach but to keep an eye on their pupils, my God.
Makis said…
Grabe, I also felt bad because I can confirm how nice & sweet Sebastien is. I hope he will learn from this kind of situations. But I can also imagine how hard it is for you, Haze. Kung ako yan, magwawala ako! Basta sabihin mo kay Basti hwag siya magpapa-api.

Nao, grabe naman what that kid did to your son - violent! I agree with you that the teachers are responsible kahit papano to watch over them kaya this things could be avoided.
Analyse said…
violence at school... at that age! oh my... my fear is actually, seeing Louna growing more French than Filipina.. honestly speaking, i would prefer her to be more pinay. At this point, i dont have any worries yet, i see that her nanny loves her very much..

wawa naman si basti, bata pa, kelangan matuto na ng self-defense..
Anonymous said…
ako nga natatakot sa mga french na school boys eh! Even though they're half my size I feel that some can do me serious harm.

-Kala
Francesca said…
Moi, je pense, dans l'ecole, tous les eleve ne sont pas bien discipliner par leur parents. Cest pour cela, les mechancete et les victim, est toujours la.
Dans l'ecole, les eleves sont sous la responsibilite de la maitresse.

dont know tama itong french ko, haze,sensya na! nagaaral pa rin lola mo hanggang ngayon, at bulol pa ako!
ty ke lolo, he doesnt speak french to me! asar no? #&!#~~!
Francesca said…
eto pa, haze, tagalugin ko na lang ha, at naku po, baka abutin ako ng midnght di pa tapos tsika ko!
yong dalaga ko naman, sinampal ng kaklase, wala naman daw ginawa yong dalaga ko 17 years old, kundi, sinabihan ang classmate na tumigil ka dyan, yoko maingay!
sinampal anak koh!
eh andon ako non, so punta ako sa school, with appointment in advance, ala french way. So naghanda si titser, nagsama ng principal, kala gyera na.
no.
Sabi ko sa kanila sa guidance room, I want to see the boy that slap my daughter has discilpine. If I dont see any, I will file a case agaisnt the school, for not maintaining discipline and principles, eh Catholic school kayo. So what discipline can I expect, I ask the principal!
They said, they will inform the parents, that for a week the boy will clean the toilets after school hours...
O di ayos!
kasi gamitin ko talaga barangay, lol ! pa blotter baga, then sangkot school, eh manay ang reputation ng school...
Yan lang tip ko sa mga nanay. Be mild, ask what the school suggest, and mean it to know what is to be done to this bad classmate.
Francesca said…
Pero kung baoy pa ang classmate, meaning, baby pa, hay naku, parents na lang linis toilet sa school!lol
Anonymous said…
Hi Haze, it's really hard for us mothers when things like this happen to our kids. We want to protect them at all times but when they're in school, they're left to fend for themselves. You should talk to your son and find out who that boy is. He must be disciplined even at this age, he's already a bully.
Anonymous said…
Hi Haze, I feel for you!!! Nangyari din kay Melvyn 'yan a few months back. Pag-uwi niya sa bahay galing sa school, may scratches siya sa pisngi. The first time na nangyari yon, hindi ako nag- react. The second time, medyo galit na ako pero hindi ko pa kinausap ang teacher. The third time, kinausap ko na talaga ang teacher niya. Diretso ko ding sinabi sa teacher that she's a mother too and that she knows how I feel. "Je sais, je sais, madame." Yon ang assurance niya sa akin. Furtunately, hindi na naulit, sa ngayon!!! I hope hindi na talaga!!!

One more thing, one morning nong hinatid ko si Melvyn sa classroom, bigla ba naman siyang hinatak nong isang kaklase at binigyan siya ng punches. Laro lang siguro yon para sa kanya pero nagulat ako kasi sa tingin ko parang gusto niyang awayin si Melvyn. Si Melvyn naman, nakatingin lang don sa kaklase niya. I stopped the kid, then the teacher reprimanded him also. What's surprising to me was that, the mother was there just beside his son but did not do anything. Nakangiti pa nga eh. Ano ba 'yan? Hindi ko talaga maintindihan!!

And hey, just an advice, take close- up pictures of Séb with the scratches para may ebidensiya ka. We never know...

Ang haba na nitong comment ko, Haze. Para na ring akong gumawa ng entry sa blog mo! LOL!!

I wanted to write an entry about this in my blog. Later na siguro pag may time na ako sa pc.

Thanks for sharing this experience with us, Haze. Take care. Be strong for your kids. Bisous!
haze said…
Nao : grabe that's total violence ! We are now leaving in a crazy world....respect to other people is really missing...kahit mga ganyang bata grabe...tama ka if I were in your place demandahan na!

Makis : O di ba mabait si Basti anyway Makis I already explained to Basti if someone is harassing him he needs to fight back. Hayaan mo enrol namin yan sa Martial Arts not to be boastful of but learning how to defend himself.

Ana : Really Ana but I'm sure you can instill into her minds most of our good Filipino habits and cultures...depends on you both di ba! Mixed cultures so kung ano yung pangit sa French iwasan ganon din sa side natin. Goodluck Ana! Ganyan talaga ang pagiging magulang pero kaya natin yan!

Fran : Ok lang Fran, kaya nga ako nag blog nf French from time to time para ma practice ko eh :-) Tayong mga nanay as in pare pareho ang reaction...talagang nakaka init ng dugo syempre naman they didn't do any harm tapos sasampalin or tutusukin ng lapis bah personalan na yan...Tama lang yong ginawa mo like Nao...we need to always fight basta nasa lugar tayo.

Kala : Oo nga Kala you need to be very careful baka akala nila eh ka level ka lang nila....I mean you looked so young! You need to show them that you are the AUTHORITY!

Babette : Oo nga hirap talaga but I always pray whenever he's at school. I also asked him questions kahit paulit ulit para I know everything & what's happening to him while he is at school.

Joy : You have the patience, I admire you! Grabe sila no bata pa napaka aggressive. The Mom was there hay naku you can see what Mother he has already...I always believe in bad karma...babalik din yan sa knila kung ano ang ginawa nila sa kapwa nila!

Thank you for giving me your ears to listen, eyes to read my entry and advices to execute later on. Take care you all!
Anonymous said…
Bonsoir Haze, kamusta na dyan? sorry to hear sa nangyari about sébastien..good idea na sinulatan ng hubby mo ang teacher niya. Na experienced din namin iyan with Alyssa (our daughter) noon nasa maternelle pa cya.. luckily, it's over now.

Merci beaucoup sa tag:) have a nice week to all the family!
haze said…
Hi Amy, we need to react ksi pag hindi baka lagi na lang maulit di ba! Kaya everytime na ihahatid ko sya sa school lagi ako may worries eh but anyway later on he will learn to defend himself...ngayon na tinuturuan na namin sya eh!

Thanks also for passing by Amy and Advance Happy mothers day!
CLC Fashion said…
Hi Haze! huli yata ako dito. Sorry to hear, sus ako din ka cathy pero isang beses pa lang naman hindi na talaga naulit. i really told it to her maitresse, then i told to the boy na hindi nya itulak or sasaktan si cathy kasi magagalit talaga ako. So far okay na hindi na naulit talaga. Mabuti yong sabihan mo kaagad sila to avoid repetition sa nangyari. take care Haze!
Anonymous said…
Hi Lucille thanks for dropping by! I guess we mothers should always be vigilant and tough di ba...Oo nga di porke mabait anak natin lagi na lang silang aapihin kaya we really plan to enrol him in martials arts the future...it helps anyhow.. Have a nice WE et gros bisous a tous!